A comprehensive view of crypto venture capital, a look at 10 types of crypto venture capital and classical speech

Reprinted from panewslab

05/12/2025·23D

Author: rosie , Encrypted KOL

Compiled by: Felix, PANews

In the crypto industry, maybe everyone has to deal with venture capital at some point. Some venture capitalists do have "timely rain", but this is not the case in most cases. Here is a practical guide to help you identify venture capital institutions.

Note: This article is purely ironic and does not allude to any venture capital company. If you feel offended, it may fall into categories 1-9.

1. "We do not support airdrops" venture capital

While advocating how to build "real value", they will sell their tokens immediately after the lockout expires. What they really mean is "not supporting airdrops on you, but are happy to collect your own airdrops". These people will also talk about token economics to you when their portfolios shrink by 80%. The first rule for venture capital selling clubs is not to talk about themselves.

2. "Please cooperate with my marketing agency" venture capital

They invested $50,000 and are now trying to get the money back by forcing you to hire their "cousin" marketing agency for $60,000. The institution has only three clients: you and two other portfolio companies with the same venture capital investment. What is their marketing strategy? Purchase paid tweets from internet celebrities.

3. "Theme-driven" venture capital

The investment theme has not been updated since 2021. While you're giving a demo, they're talking about "Web3 social" and "metauniverse infrastructure" while searching Google for "what is TEE technology". However, as long as the business plan contains the word "AI", they will definitely invest.

4. "Founder-friendly" venture capital

They will spend three weeks delving into your project, asking you to fill out 17 forms, introduce you to their entire team, and then disappear completely when it’s time to send money. Six months later, they will congratulate you on Twitter for raising money from someone else.

5. Venture capital that "formerly worked in *** Traditional Financial

Company"

I only entered the cryptocurrency field in 2022, but I never forget that I worked at Goldman Sachs. Probably in the crypto community now, but still show off through its experience on LinkedIn. Their full value added lies in “professional mail templates” and “equity structure best practices.” They have never used a hardware wallet and are asking what is a Gas fee.

6. FOMO Venture Capital with “Reply within 24 hours”

Ignore your recommendations completely for months until I see another venture capital mentioning your field on Twitter. They suddenly send you a private message to ask for an "emergency call". They will give bad terms and offer a 24-hour time limit. Even if you accept it, it will take them three weeks to send you the documents.

7. Paper VCs that “We are long-term holders”

Watching a CNBC interview with Cathie Wood, she said BTC would reach $1.5 million by 2030 — so they started to reiterate their “look at the long term” and “align with the founders on their five-year vision.” However, once a 30% drop occurs, they sell in panic and put the blame on the “market situation”, saying it is “out of anyone’s control.” However, they still want a seat on the board.

8. "Thought Leader" who has nothing released

I have never launched any product, but I have 50,000 fans. These fans have accumulated completely by repeating other people's opinions. Their top tweet was about "builder culture", but they never did anything themselves. They will offer "consult you" in exchange for 2% of the project's tokens. Their advice is usually “Have you tried to have anonymous Twitter influencers talk about it?”

9. Venture capital that “usually don’t invest so early”

In the seed round you seem to be doing you a favor, but then you ask for privileges of Series B financing. They will ask for daily updates, board control, and contact your development team directly. I will even send you a message at 11 p.m. on Sunday: "Quick answer - When will "Lamborghini" be launched? ”

10. Builders who truly understand you

They will ask the right technical questions. They have gone through multiple cycles. They won't waste your time. They bring much more than money. They understand your vision because they are in it themselves.

They are like unicorns—you thought they didn’t exist, but when you find one, you will never choose another institution.

Don't compromise when choosing who to invest in your project. The right partner is not only the key to success, but also the key to saying six months later, “We are turning to creating a web3 social layer with AI as the core for DeFi users” (there is more than just the funding that venture capital can bring).